Stranded at the Kentucky Derby...

Oh my goodness. How is it July and I have I not yet blogged about the Kentucky Derby?!?

Truth be told,  I’ve never watched the Derby on TV. I’ve never had a mint-julep. I don’t have an affinity for large hats. Though beautiful, I find horses dangerous and unpredictable. And I’m not a betting woman. So, why did The Derby make my list? Simply stated: I’ve never been and I like to do new things. Plus, there is something to be said for an event that’s been running since the 1870’s.

Background Info: Back in “the day” (college and a little after) my friend Angie and I went on a fair number of road trips. There are two things to do while in a car for 5+ hours: talk (we always had a good conversations) and make the passenger be the DJ. There was an unspoken rule that applied to the DJ: Surprise the driver with the most random (and fun) selection of music possible. As a result, many road trips involved artists such as: Cake, Madonna, Garth Brooks, Outkast, etc.. Since Angie’s move to CA, road trips are few and far between. So…who did I call when I wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby? My gal pal Ang.

Thursday April 29th Angie arrived in STL. Angie and I lived together in STL for a number of years and for the sake of tradition we walked our old 5 mile route a few times and went to a few bars/restaurants we would often frequent when she was living in town…it was a little trip down memory lane.

Friday morning, we began our road-trip to Kentucky. After 9 hours we arrived in Louisville. Yes, Louisville is really about a 5 hour drive BUT when you drive to Lexington first…it is a much longer drive.

To make a long story short, we originally booked our hotel in Lexington, KY (about an hour east of Church Hill Downs) because neither of us were interested in paying $450+ for a one night stay at a LaQuinta. Yes, $450 for a LaQuinta! I’m sorry, but as a matter of principle I won’t pay $450 for a hotel that is supposed to be somewhere in the neighborhood of $90/night…even if it does have a microwave in each room. Literally, 10 minutes after we checked into the Lexington hotel, my uncle (who also ended up going to the Derby) called to tell me someone in their group backed out and that room (at a nicer hotel, in downtown Louisville) was ours for the taking. It takes a good friend to agree to another hour or so drive after a 5 hour road trip earlier in the day, but Angie agreed and after dinner in Lexington, we headed back West to Louisville and finally checked into our hotel around 10:00, then headed out to explore downtown Louisville.

Downtown Louisville was a mad-house…who knew?!? So. Many. People. Neither of us had any idea it would be so insane! We were on overload. Unfortunately, I waited too long to write this blog and I’m sure I’ll leave out tons of details, so just picture a big street party, loud music, dancing, bars, lots of fluorescent lights, cobblestone streets, and tons and tons of people. The Derby is “THE” event of the year for Louisville, because of that; the city is understaffed when it comes to public transportation. As a result, many of the “taxis” were basically moms driving minivans with a handwritten paper sign on the side of the card that said “Taxi”. I honestly could’ve sat down at a table and just watched people for hours. Lots to soak in.

Since my Aunt and Uncle’s friends dropped out of the trip, Angie and I were able to “drop in”. Which meant the next morning, we met everyone in the lobby and hopped in their pimped out charter bus stocked with plenty of food and drinks. On the front end, the Charter sounded like a great idea (especially considering the weather forecast was for nothing but rain and the Charter promised to drop us off right at the front gate) and for the most part it was. Until it suddenly hit us, “if you go with the charter, you leave with the charter”. We arrived at the Derby around 10:45 a.m., unfortunately, it rained 90% of the day…and our seats were not covered. The actual derby “race” isn’t until 5:00 ish…which meant the majority of the afternoon was spent hanging out in the covered area with thousands of people who were getting drunker, and wetter, and louder, and hotter by the hour… essentially, we were stranded.

Am I disappointed I went to the Derby? Nope. I’m glad I went. I’m glad I bought a new dress, wore a big hat, tried a mint julep, road tripped with Angie, hung out on 2nd Street in downtown Louisville, bet on a few horses, hung out with my Aunt and Uncle and their friends (they invited us to a really fun party after the Derby) and met some new people, and in general experienced all that is "The Kentucky Derby". 

Would I go again? Probably not. Unless…someone paid for me to sit in the covered seats -or- I was guaranteed a sunny day. And since there is no guarantee on the weather…I guess that means someone needs to treat me to Millionaires Row…any takers?  :)

Cards/Cubs Game at Wrigley

Memorial Day weekend, I went to my first Cards/Cubs game in Chicago. I’ve been to a Cards/Cubs game in STL, but never at Wrigley. Come to think of it, I’ve never been to a MLB game outside Busch Stadium (other than spring training).


Whether it’s a road trip, a trip of international proportions, or somewhere in between…I love to travel. Read: I like going on trips, not planning them. I don’t like the planning because -well- I have self-diagnosed ADD and there are SO many things to choose from…and quite frankly…I’m easily entertained so the whole planning process is quite daunting and there is rarely anything that I don't want to do. But, since I did the inviting, I had to bite the bullet and take charge of a few details. So, if you’re reading this, and I’ve ever traveled with you on a vacation that required planning (Mom,Dad, Ryanne, Kathy, James Plett…) thanks for taking time to the research and work out details!

Alright, first, I’m just going to say it was a really fun, great, and busy weekend…but what made the weekend REALLY great is the people. Let’s be honest. Traveling with 6 adults can be tricky, especially if it’s the first time traveling together. I believe two signs of a good “group trip” are 1.everyone sticks together (vs. breaking into smaller groups that go in different directions) and 2. Each person has equal time talking to everyone in the group. Those aren’t things you can plan for, and both happened on this trip. Therefore, in the eyes of Miss Holley Maher…this trip was a success! I don’t think any of us could’ve asked for a better mix of personalities.

At 3 p.m. Friday afternoon, everyone packed into Dana’s parents pimped-out mini van. The drive to Chicago was a breeze. Hardly any traffic. The perfect number of bathroom breaks. Good car snacks. Lots of conversations. And even the movie Avatar was only somewhat watched because the conversations were more exciting...sorry James Cameron!

We arrived at the hotel (which was right by Navy Pier) around 8:30 p.m. and pretty much headed straight to dinner. Unfortunately, there was an hour wait at the restaurant we planned to go to but fortunately, there was a Mexican restaurant just down the street with outdoor seating and no wait! AND, had we not gone to that Mexican restaurant, then I would’ve missed out on trying cactus for the first time! It’s amazing how everything works out huh? :)

The next morning we left the hotel around 10:30 and began making our way to Wrigley. The game was at 3:00; it was a beautiful sunny day and made all the sense in the world to spend the afternoon walking to Wrigley (a little over 5 miles). Why? So much to see of course. We walked along the lake shore, through a farmers market, peeked in some of the shops in the Lincoln Park area, and on mustn’t forget stopping at a CVS Pharmacy for some water and gum. A great way to get some exercise and see the city. Before we knew it, it was 1:00, we were within a block of Wrigley, and it was time for lunch.

After lunch, we met my friend Libby outside Wrigley for the game and headed to our seats. Our seats were pretty high; however, they were just to the left of home plate, so had the Cardinals won…we would’ve had a great view of the guys running into home. BUT, I think we lost 1-4(?). Oh well, I was just happy to be at a ball game in a different stadium. Actually, I’m maybe the worst sports fan ever. I’m such a lemming. I rarely pay attention to the game, so I just clap when everyone else cheers. That generally works pretty well…when I’m at Busch Stadium and everyone around me is a Cards fan. Despite the fact I sported my Cardinals red, I'm confident I spent more time clapping for the Cubs. The way I look at it is, “I support talent. So whether someone plays for the Cardinals, the Cubs, or whatever…those guys are just trying to make an honest living, and put food on the table, maybe send a few kids through college. So, good for anyone who hits a home run or catches a fly ball…”

After the game, we grabbed a drink and a few appetizers at a nearby bar with an outdoor patio and shortly thereafter headed to the Sheffield Music Festival. Despite the bands being on a long break, we all agreed the karaokeers (is that a word?) picked some really fun music. One guy did a really great rendition of some Killers song, rather impressive. Everyone was starting to get a little tired at this point, but we pushed through, hopped on the “L” and headed to Navy Pier for some ice cream and the 10:30 fireworks display. All in all, it was a fun day, and we were very sleepy ladies by the time the clock struck 11 p.m.. I honestly think we walked close to 10 miles that afternoon.

The next morning, I got up and went for a short run along the lake and a few hours later, we left the hotel for Millennium Park and a 1:00 rooftop game. Had I not met my new friend Travis a few months ago, I don’t think I would’ve known about the rooftop experience. If you don’t know, a handful of brownstones surround the Wrigley outfield. The top ¼ of the buildings are for baseball fans.  The very top is an open patio for rooftop seating. Just below that is an open bar/buffet. Below the bar area are residences. I’m not 100% certain whether or not I’ll go back to the rooftop we went to this weekend, the view wasn’t amazing but the reason I would go back is because one of the owners was really personable. Luckily, the Cardinals won on Sunday…9-1. While watching the game from the rooftop, I told Karen it would be fun to start an annual tradition of coming up to Chicago for one Rooftop game each year. Not only is the rooftop all-inclusive, but it’s great because the bathrooms are clean and not crowded. No huge crowds of sweaty people. It’s easy to meet people, we had some fellow Cardinal fans sitting behind us….and we even befriended a Cubs fan.

After the rooftop game, we hung out in the Wrigley area for some people watching. This one guy had this crazy floating cigarette trick. We have no idea how he did it but this cigarette somehow floated, turned, and hovered in mid air. It was weird. My sister found a link to him online. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hom8XTYSQys

A little later, we met up with Ryanne (she didn’t come to the rooftop game because she spent the afternoon with some college friends living in Chicago). We merged groups for a drink/dinner then took the L back into the downtown area so we could go to the top of the Hancock building. Despite the fact that the Hancock experience wasn’t quite what we expected (lots of standing in line…) I’m glad to say we went to the top and saw a really great view of the city…even if it was from the women’s restroom. I think it was the first time for all of us (except Karen).

The next morning, Ryanne and I got up for a short run/walk that highlighted some of the higher-profile sites in Chicago, down the river walk, along the lake, through Millennium Park, and down Michigan Ave. It was a great way to wrap up the trip!

That was pretty much it. We all met up in the hotel lobby around 9:30 and were on our way to St. Louis by 9:45. Thanks to Dana for driving, and to her parents for giving up their minivan for a weekend! Thanks to Katie M. for being our tour guide. And thanks to everyone for making it such a fun weekend filled with new things, lots of walking, good conversations, and lots of laughs! I really am blessed to have such quality gals in my life!

NYC/VT Part Two: Learn to Snowboard

I’ve skied for about 15 years and for the past 5 years or so I’ve been intrigued by the snowboarders. I never satisfied my curiosity on ski trips with friends because everyone ski’s about the same level and I didn’t want to be the one girl stumbling down the bunny hill while the rest of the group made all sorts of fun memories skiing Blue Sky Basin. When my aunt offered to host my trip up East, I decided that was the time to try snowboarding. Plus, it was kind of symbolic because I first learned to ski with my Aunt in Vermont.


If you don’t already know it…standing on a snowboard for the first time is nothing shy of awkward. Snowboarders ooze this laid-back coolness. Since I consider myself a pretty laid back person…certainly I could look just as “chill” on board. Notsomuch. Not only that…but a 30 yr old insurance lady on a snowboard for the first time is REALLY not cool…especially when she’s wearing a helmet.

In short, I took two classes (morning and afternoon) and fell down… a lot. Honestly, I did get better throughout the day…but no matter how you cut it, it’s just not possible to master something in 5 hours. So, what ends up happening is you feel really, really helpless, and it just gets frustrating. Before I knew it, the day was over and I was tired and sore. And, if I call a spade a spade, I “quit” before the lifts closed simply because I was tired of falling and running into stationary objects (or small children).

Here is my thinking at the end of the day…”Ya know Holls, you really don’t need to learn how to snowboard. You like skiing just fine. And really, be honest, didn’t you just want to know what the hype was all about? Well, now you know.”

So, my “Holley Maher personal take-away” was simply the self realization that I don’t need (nor can I) master everything. Nor will I enjoy everything. But I can (and should) try anything…well…except illegal drugs...  Because sometimes, experiencing something new ends up giving you a deeper appreciation for the things you already know. 

Exploring the Art of NYC

In the mid-80’s my family traveled to NYC to visit my dad’s sister (Kathy) who moved up east after law school. As a 7 year old girl, my first trip to NYC was nothing less than scary. Crime was high…and the trash people were on strike…not a good combination! As we drove to her apartment in the city I remember sliding down in my seat (below the window) “just in case” we were about to be the victim of a drive by shooting. Thankful to be alive by the time we arrived at the stairs of her apartment, the sliding door to the VW Vanagon opened only to reveal...a dead rat! Thank goodness it was my “cool aunt” who lived in NYC; otherwise, New York would’ve been shrouded with nothing but horrible memories.
Though I’ve been back a handful of times since the 80’s, other than a Broadway show, a view from the top of the Empire State building, a trip to the site where the Twin Towers once stood, and some good restaurants, for some reason I can’t really remember how I spent my time in the city...and I'm pretty sure I didn't get a flavor of the art-world.

Recently (maybe within the past 3 years) my appreciation for art has grown. I’m not “artsy” and quite frankly, I don't have a great appreciation for the classical pieces. I came to realize my new found interest in art after some organization in my neighborhood tore out some really pretty landscaping in order to install a really ugly statue a few blocks from my house. The statue truly is an eyesore, however, I love it because it fosters conversation and I believe one of the roles of art is to build community. This particular statue is right outside a Starbucks and shortly after the installation, I often found myself sharing opinions of the statue with random Starbucks patrons.

Why did I share all that?!? Well, for my 30th birthday, my Aunt Kathy invited me to visit her and her family up East so I could knock a few things off my list. Not wanting to take advantage of such a great gift, I decided to complete two items on my list. Since you’re reading this blog, it’s probably pretty obvious I wanted to explore the art of NYC. What you don't know is Kathy and her family are avid skiers so I also told her I wanted to spend some time in the mountains of VT learning how to snowboard (that will be another entry).

Kathy planned a perfect trip! We stayed with her friend’s Clinton and Joe. They have a lovely apartment in the Upper East Side; I couldn’t have asked for better accommodations. The weather was great, which gave us an opportunity to do a lot of walking and the itinerary was perfectly packed and diverse. Because we did so much, I’ll give the cliff-notes version of the trip (at least I'll try):

Tuesday: The Frick and Guggenheim

The Frick museum is the home of Henry Frick who was basically a really rich and successful guy in the coal industry who had an appreciation for art. After his daughters death (in the 1980’s), his home and art collection opened to the public. The Frick is filled with a variety of classical pieces: Vermeer’s, Rembrandt’s, statues, various textiles, all in the setting of an amazing home with pretty gardens.

I think the Guggenheim was my favorite. The architecture was unique and modern. Upon entering the Guggenheim you find yourself at the bottom of a long spiral ramp. As you go up the ramp, you can stop off at different floors to view various exhibits. Usually, artwork is placed along the walls of the ramp, however when we visited in March the walls were blank due to Tino Sehgal’s exhibit, “This Progress”. Sehgal is a conceptual artist, and “This Progress” was an interactive. Instead of the museum goers simply viewing a piece of art he or she is led up the spiral ramp by four individuals in order of increasing age.

A 10 yr old boy greeted us with the question, “What is progress?”. We walked up the ramp with him for a few minutes defining “progress” until the boy “disappeared” around the corner and we now found ourselves talking and walking with a 19 year girl attending NYU. She spent a few minutes telling us how she feels society pressures young adults to make certain choices (i.e. career, lifestyle, etc.). Honestly, we found her whiny and difficult to follow. Next we were greeted by a woman in her early 30’s. We talked with her about “ageism” in the United States. As you may’ve guessed, the next person we met was in his late 70’s. He shared stories from his life about how doing things that are a little uncomfortable grew him as a person and allowed him to see things from a different perspective. At this point, we had progressed from the bottom of the ramp to the top and as a result, we too saw things from a different perspective. I would’ve enjoyed going through the exhibit again, but unfortunately, we arrived at the Guggenheim later than expected so time didn’t allow us to go through again. The NY Times had a great article online, the best summary is: “actors (‘interpreters’) accost the viewer in ways that, depending upon who she is and what she thinks about conceptual art, may leave her confused, annoyed, or more exhilarated than by anything she has encountered inside a museum in years.” I left the exhibit feeling the latter… :) http://www.newyorker.com/talk/2010/03/22/100322ta_talk_collins#ixzz0k3TR6GXm

After the Guggenheim we headed to LeCaprice for dinner and the Blue Note Jazz Club for some post-dinner entertainment.

Day Two: The Day of Personalized Art Tours plus some laughs...

The day began with a tour and lunch at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I could write a lot about the Met, but the best thing was our tour guide was Kathy’s friend Clinton who is a Docent at the Met.

After lunch, we headed to Chelsea which was the neighborhood where Kathy’s friend was showing her personal work. This was the smallest art venue we visited, but it was a nice change from the “impersonal” museum feel. Kathy’s friend Claudia is very talented and I really enjoyed talking with her. Talking with the artist gave a different appreciation for her art. www.claudiacron.com is her website if you want to view any of her artwork.

That evening, we met my cousin John and his girlfriend for Sushi and a comedy show. John is my dad’s cousin’s son…so I think that makes him my third cousin. I hadn’t seen John in close to 20 years, so it was fun to catch up. I mentioned this in my South Africa blog, but one thing I really appreciate about traveling is how it can make the world can seem both larger and smaller. There was something uniquely comfortable and fun about having dinner, with my 3rd cousin and aunt in the middle of NYC.

Day Three: Museum of Modern Art (MOMA), Spa, & Broadway.

Though MOMA was my 2nd favorite museum…it was by far my favorite meal! Here I learned something new (and experienced) “amuse-bouche”. It’s a French term that basically means “something pleasing for your mouth”. Bouche is French for mouth and amuse is…well…it’s amuse. The amuse-bouche is a bite-size hors d’oeuvre…it’s like a special surprise from the chef. Between the amuse-bouche, spontaneous glasses of lunchtime wine, amazing entrées (I had the duck, and Kathy had the foie gras which was "muy delicioso"), dessert sampler, and classy museum atmosphere…this was by far one of the best meals…which was then followed by massages at Elizabeth Arden’s Red Door Spa….which was then followed by surprise makeovers. Definitely a girly day. Before we knew it, it was time for dinner and the Broadway show “Billy Elliot”, the story of a boy who drops out of boxing classes so he can enroll in ballet…that didn’t go over so well with lil’ Billy’s dad but as is the case with most musicals…everything worked out get in the end (sorry for the spoiler). Not only was this a great day because of the fun things we did, but it was also a great day of conversation and just hanging out with my Aunt Kathy who I really haven’t “hung out” with one on one since I’ve been a little girl.

For the most part, that’s the summary of my trip to NYC. The next morning, we left to pick up my cousin Alec and headed to Vermont for some time on the mountain…where I “learned” to snowboard. (Quotes are very intentional). Stay tuned for Part II…you know you wanna… :)

Complete a Marathon

In the summer of ’09 (mid-list creation) my sister asked me if I’d run a half-marathon with her. I’m not a runner, however, in 2003, I ran a half-marathon with a friend of mine. For some strange reason, I turned to Megan and said, “Well, I’ve already run a half, so why don’t we train for a full?” ...I’m sure the only reason those words came out of my mouth was because I said them while sitting in a boat drinking a beer. Anything seemed possible at that moment in time…



Since I’m not a natural runner (is anyone really a “natural” runner anyway???) crossing a finish line wasn’t enough incentive for me…I needed to know I was running for a greater purpose. So after some research, we made a decision to train with, and raise money for, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS). A month or so later we found ourselves at the kick-off meeting officially committing to a 26.2 mile run and raising $7,800 for LLS.


When I ran my half-marathon, I thought, “13.1 miles is plenty. I can’t imagine ever doing a full marathon. 26.2 miles is a long way...and the thought of having multiple training runs over 13 miles seems awful…” I won’t bore you with the details of the various training runs for the marathon, but the big-picture over view is: we had decent weather for the majority of our training so for the most part running outside wasn’t too bad. It started to get uncomfortably cold in mid-December (the marathon took place mid January) and I finally drew the line with outdoor runs at 20*. The thought getting up at 5:45 a.m. to run 15 miles, around a lake, in 7 degree weather wasn’t going to happen…I think my rationale was reasonable. Generally speaking, it was fun to hit different milestones throughout the training. The first milestone took place in November when I ran the farthest I had ever run…15 miles. The other milestone (at least mentally) was the 20 mile training run in mid-December. I knew if I could run 20 (in the cold and snow)…I could run the 26.2.


Normally, I’m a very level headed, rational thinker. When most people run a marathon their thoughts and fears are, “Will I finish”? “I hope I don’t get a knee injury.” Or, for those with a competitive edge, “I want to finish in the top 10% of my age bracket.” Nope. Not me. My fears were more along the lines of, “I hope I finish without a heart attack, stroke, blood clot, or aneurism…” Not so “level-headed”… Actually, my fear wasn’t TOTALLY irrational…and here’s why. (Oh, FYI, some of you reading this…especially if you’ve known me for a long time may be surprised by what I’m about to type. So, know this isn’t a “secret”…it’s just never come up in conversation…) BUT, ever since I’ve been 3 years old, I’ve been an insulin dependent diabetic. So, my heart attack/stroke concern wasn’t totally off base.


My other “concern” (and this is a more logical concern) was: “Will I hit ‘the wall’?” In talking to a few marathoners, I often heard stories about how your body starts to “shut down” at mile 20. And how, “the last 6.2 miles are the hardest.” When I asked people to explain what they mean by “your body starts to shut down” they’d often say, “You’ll see…” What the…?!?


The night before the race, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society hosted an inspirational pasta party dinner. Two individuals spoke that evening. The first spoke primarily to encourage us physically. He reminded us that completing the race wasn’t about winning or getting the best time. He also pointed out that only 1% of the population has completed a marathon. He did a good job of easing nerves and inspiring us to have fun and savor each moment along the way.


The second speaker was the father of a girl who passed away of Leukemia a few years ago. His talk centered around “Yes, tomorrow you will run 26.2 miles, but the greater accomplishment is the impact you had on LLS”. All the Team in Training participants for this event raised a total of $1.6 million. I’m not sure if you know this, but that’s a lot of money.


Towards the end of his daughter’s life, she created a list of the “10 Secrets Living”. Since her list is so insightful, I’m sharing it in hopes that my friends, family, and fellow bloggers will also be encouraged by the wisdom of this 15 year old girl, I hope it will help to put some things in your life into perspective as it did mine.


10: Deal with life one day at a time.


9: Turn every life experience into a learning experience.


8: Always look for the positive.


7: Try to do at least one new thing everyday.


6: Be true to yourself.


5: Touch as many lives as you can.


4: Enjoy the little things.


3: Don’t sweat the small stuff.


2: Hold on to your friends.


1: Make everyday count.


I really like her list. It’s simple yet deep. And what I love about it the most is written by a person who clearly knew life here on earth is temporary.


Ok, I hate switching gears like this, but I’m going to for lack of a better segue. Since this is a blog about the marathon…I should probably write something about the actual race experience. I didn’t have a heart attack, stroke, blood clot, or aneurism…Yay! We could not have asked for better weather. Sunny and about 72*. Every mile was marked by a live band and a water station...which made the miles go by pretty fast. I ran solo the majority of the time which meant it was a lot easier to pace myself. Though I didn't break any records...I was able to finish strong...which is better than my original goal "not to die". :)


Mile 21 was probably the “breakthrough” mile marker. At that point I found myself thinking,”I’m actually going to complete a marathon!! –and- I’m actually feeling really good…!” –and- “I'd actually consider doing this again." Plus, it didn’t hurt that the band on the side of the road was playing, “I’m Proud to be an American”. I honestly started getting a little “vaclempt”.


Though my diabetes doesn’t play a major role in my day-to-day life, there was something really cool about the fact that I was a diabetic and I was running a marathon. I think one of the best things I did throughout the race was simply listen to my body. If I needed to stretch, I’d stretch. Walk, I’d walk. Get water, I’d get water. If I felt like I could keep running…then I’d keep running. And, much like on my safari experience, I was struck by the fact that God and His creation are pretty amazing.


As for the next day, well, I felt great! I think it’s because I stayed on my feet and kept moving after the race.


Am I glad I did it? Definitely. Will I do it again? Maybe…nothing is ever out of the question.

The First Wild Card—Sponsor a Child.

At the last minute (basically the day I turned 30) I amended my list “rules”. I decided to give myself two “wild cards”. After all, the list really is just a way for me to be intentional about doing and experiencing new things. Yes, there are new things I’m doing outside this list, but for the most part they’re inconsequential—like the other day I went to a new bar and grill. I never thought of going there before, nor is there anything all that unique about the place…therefore a place like that will never be “wild card worthy”. On the other hand, a few weeks ago, my friend Krista invited me to a Christian concert. I don’t go to many Christian concerts, but for some reason, I decided to go to this one. Mid-concert, I learned concert proceeds would support an international adoption agency, “Holt International”.

Over the past year I’ve prayed about the list. That God would use it, teach me, reveal himself…and basically not let it become simply a “year of Holley doing whatever she wants”. Honestly, I don’t have any specific plans for glorifying God in any of these items, I just trust that since I’ve prayed, God will lead me different places.

Back to the “Wild Card”. About 10 days before the concert, the earthquake hit Haiti. Like many, I found myself thinking along the lines of, “How can I help”? And, “Which organization should I give to?” When I learned Holt International had a “sponsor a child” program…which included Haitian children, it didn’t take me long to decide this is a “wild card worthy” item. I love this because I have no idea how long I will sponsor Marie, but she will be a good reminder that God hears my prayers and is faithful. She will also be a good reminder to pray for the people and country of Haiti. And $30 a month will remind me of all that I have to give thanks for…and that my money can (and should) be shared with people who have far greater needs than my own.

Paging Dr. Phil...

Since the majority of my family lives in town, more often than not when we all get together, the dinner tables are split between kids and adults. I go back and forth between the two…but truth be told…I like when all of us cousins are together at the “kids” table. :)


None of the cousins are married. The kid table (which sometimes includes family friends) ranges from age 6 to mid 30’s. Thanksgiving ’08 three of us were in our late 20’s / early 30’s (I was the only girl in the “late 20’s”) and three more (including Ryan) were early 20’s. That Thanksgiving, we found ourselves in a conversation about dating…specifically discussing MY dating life.

I don’t remember the details, but I do remember learning from Ryan that Facebook is for “booty calls” and Match.com is for “serious” relationships. News to me… but that does explain all the inappropriate wall comments on my Facebook page… (KIDDING!) I also remember Ryan gave me what I like to call the “Dr. Phil Challenge with the Ryan full money-back guarantee”.

Dr. Phil is/was somehow affiliated with Match.com. He has (at least had) some guarantee you’ll find true love on Match.com within X number of months…if not…you get your money back. I was (and still am) a skeptic. Ryan told me if I signed up for Match.com and didn’t find “love” in 90 days…HE would give me my money back. Honestly, I wanted to take him up on the challenge just to prove him wrong. Could I possibly get Dr. Phil to give me my money back and Ryan to pay me on top of it? Did I actually have the potential to make money with online dating? Sweet. :) Oh, but it sounded so mean make my recent college graduate cousin reimburse me for something I “knew” was doomed for failure. To make a long story short, I told my table not to get their hopes up, but I’d “think” about it.

In the meantime (and totally unrelated) I came up with the idea to do this “non-bucket list”. Many people gave me ideas for things to add to the list. Four or five people encouraged me to sign up for Match.com. (Not sure what that says about me…) but ANYWAY, one of the categories in my list is “do something uncomfortable”. It seemed that was an appropriate place to add Match.com…right next to skydiving.

Disclaimer: Though online dating is great for some people, I’ve never been too interested in the idea. My views on online dating are simply based on MY experiences, and personality so in no way are they a judgment on those who enjoy (or enjoyed) online dating. All that to say…I tried it…and pretty much hated everything about it. Granted, I only gave it 30 days…but that was enough.

Here’s my thinking:

A. I’m not a good emailer

B. I’m not a good phone talker

C. I have a hard time justifying a meaningful email to, or hearty phone conversation with, a total stranger…when I have real-life friends to whom I owe return calls/emails.

D. It’s unnatural to click on a “no thanks” button to tell someone (who you know NOTHING about) that you’re “not interested”. It just seemed so cold.

Not only that, but the world is small…especially St. Louis. When you first sign up… you get a lot of “activity” on your page. I replied to this one guy because he seemed normal and low key. Well…turns out we have mutual acquaintances and I know exactly who he is (however, he doesn’t realize I know who he is). Not only that, but multiple (unrelated) people confirmed he’s bad news. Honestly, I probably would’ve gone out with him, just to come up with my own conclusion BUT all he ever did was text or call just to chat. Sufficed to say…considering point “B” above…it fizzled.

For the record, it wasn’t ALL bad. One of my friends was on Match.com at the same time as me…I thought I was funny when I “winked” at her and sent her a message to tell her she looked like the “after” picture for a Weight Watchers ad. :) In addition, when I signed up for Match, I was in the middle of training for a marathon. One of the guys I talked to has run 44 marathons. What?!? Yes…FOURTY FOUR! Needless to say, super nice guy, and really helpful and encouraging to talk to re: training. He even made a nice donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma society.

Some people think I’m silly for only giving it 30 days, and in all fairness, I probably should’ve given it more time. But I dunno, it just wasn’t a fit. All that to say, it takes a lot for me to say that a door is permanently closed…or permanently open. So who knows…maybe some day in the future I’ll take Dr. Phil up on his challenge, until then, match.com isn’t for me.